Thursday, July 12, 2012

My woman left me for another guy

So I got this letter from Ricard today.  He was having some big problems with a breakup.  Here's his situation:

"I'm at a party and I met this really great girl.  We totally hit it off... but she already had a boyfriend.

They were separated - not divorced.  It was fresh.

One thing led to another with us and.... then, we were dating.

We had a great time.

I never connected with anyone like I did with her.  Our personalities totally meshed.

She was really into the relationship as much as I was and we were making plans... not for too much into the future, but far enough; a couple months.

Learn what the solution to this problem was. 

Suddenly though, reality struck.

Our communication hit a halting point.  I had a feeling she wanted space so I backed off and gave her some room.  But Now I realize it isn't possible to have two relationships at a time, so it was basically her fault.  A lot of things happened during that week that brought reality crashing in.

And then that was the end.  Finally we met up and she let me know what was happening; we broke up.  (She dumped me.)

Since then she has had a little bit of communication with me, but it was early on; now we haven't talked at all.  It's so totally raw and I don't know how to proceed.

I really deeply love this woman.  If I was given another chance to have a relationship I'd definitely want to.

Many of my friends encourage me to wait.  Some have told me to forget and move on.

If I move on, I don't know what I'll do.

I don't regret being with her, but I did ignore some of the classic warning signs in the beginning.

HELP ME JANELLE!!!! What do I do now to get her back?"

So the main problem I see here was twofold; neither Ricard or his girlfriend, Amanda, were understanding each other.

Amanda wanted security and comfort and love; her husband wasn't giving it to her so she was drawn to Ricard.

Ricard gave her this security and comfort and love, for a while.  Unfortunately when she started getting drawn back into her marriage, she decided to break up with him.

The key here that Ricard missed was that Amanda *did something* in that week, the week where their communication was strained, that he didn't know about.

Something happened - and instead of reaching out to her, and simply finding out what was going on in her mind, he assumed he was the problem.

Learn what the solution to this problem was. 

No comments:

Post a Comment