Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Magic Pill to Heal Your Relationship

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

How to make your ex boyfriend BEG to take you back...

Here's a little tip one of my readers sent in recently...

"hi janelle,

i just wanted to let u know i got back together with my bf recently.... here is the article i used that actually worked wonders!!!!


Sarah's article...

Make Your Ex Boyfriend BEG to Take You Back.

Have you ever played any game with a guy?

Notice how he always wants to win?

Competition is seriously important to men.   If you're too "easy" for him, he won't want you.

You've gotta be in demand.  Make him compete for you -- make him earn your love.  Real men, the ones with brass balls, love to accomplish things and beat other guys for the prize.

It's kinda just human nature!  If we're in danger of losing something, we suddenly WANT it very desperately.
(Only one iPhone left!  Get it before it's gone!)

Same goes with relationships.  Especially for men.

So how do you make him compete for you?  Easy: make lots of male friends.  You don't have to sleep with them; you're in charge, you get to set the boundaries.  But do hang out with other guys, and don't be shy about letting your ex-boyfriend know it.

After all, he has no claim on you until he makes one!

Now here's how you let him know, even if the two of you are not talking - say you've gone No Contact for a while.

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1. Use facebook

It's super easy to get his attention on facebook; just post pics of you and your guy friends hanging out.  You don't have to be blatantly obvious about it or even have yourself in the pics... basically just have some evidence that you're hanging out with other guys.

2. Mention it in conversation with him

You don't have to say you're dating other guys (and don't point out that you're *trying* to get his attention, or make him jealous.)

But do drop little clues that you might be with other guys.  For example: "My friend and I were out at the park the other day and we saw this HUGE slobbering dog with weird teeth.  It looked like something from Sherlock Holmes!"

Or whatever your particular situation is.

Now, it's CRUCIALLY important that you don't get jealous or show a lot of emotion when he mentions that he's seeing other women.  Jealousy really turns people off so it's VITAL to get it under wraps.  Bring a stress ball in your pocket or pinch yourself when you feel the tears coming on.  (It really works, if you practice it!)

Just don't let it show that you're hurting.  Remember: you're an amazing catch for any man.  It's unfortunate that things aren't working out with you and your ex-bf right now... but if it's meant to be, it will be!

So don't feel guilty.  It's okay to see yourself as being valuable and in demand by many guys.  You're not "Abusing power" or whatever.  You are, after all, the prize. :)

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My woman left me for another guy

So I got this letter from Ricard today.  He was having some big problems with a breakup.  Here's his situation:

"I'm at a party and I met this really great girl.  We totally hit it off... but she already had a boyfriend.

They were separated - not divorced.  It was fresh.

One thing led to another with us and.... then, we were dating.

We had a great time.

I never connected with anyone like I did with her.  Our personalities totally meshed.

She was really into the relationship as much as I was and we were making plans... not for too much into the future, but far enough; a couple months.

Learn what the solution to this problem was. 

Suddenly though, reality struck.

Our communication hit a halting point.  I had a feeling she wanted space so I backed off and gave her some room.  But Now I realize it isn't possible to have two relationships at a time, so it was basically her fault.  A lot of things happened during that week that brought reality crashing in.

And then that was the end.  Finally we met up and she let me know what was happening; we broke up.  (She dumped me.)

Since then she has had a little bit of communication with me, but it was early on; now we haven't talked at all.  It's so totally raw and I don't know how to proceed.

I really deeply love this woman.  If I was given another chance to have a relationship I'd definitely want to.

Many of my friends encourage me to wait.  Some have told me to forget and move on.

If I move on, I don't know what I'll do.

I don't regret being with her, but I did ignore some of the classic warning signs in the beginning.

HELP ME JANELLE!!!! What do I do now to get her back?"

So the main problem I see here was twofold; neither Ricard or his girlfriend, Amanda, were understanding each other.

Amanda wanted security and comfort and love; her husband wasn't giving it to her so she was drawn to Ricard.

Ricard gave her this security and comfort and love, for a while.  Unfortunately when she started getting drawn back into her marriage, she decided to break up with him.

The key here that Ricard missed was that Amanda *did something* in that week, the week where their communication was strained, that he didn't know about.

Something happened - and instead of reaching out to her, and simply finding out what was going on in her mind, he assumed he was the problem.

Learn what the solution to this problem was. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Vindictive Lover Calls Me Names That Make Me Feel Like Crap - Is He A Narcissist?

So you go back to your place. He kisses you, and love ensues. Then, he gives you one goodbye peck and you don't hear from him for a week. Is he a narcissist?

(I tell you here in this free report.)

The two of you have just gone through a breakup. But now you're back together. You expect things to be totally different this time around. You meet up at the park for a picnic.

 He whines and complains about all his problems. You listen, and remind him that he's quite a masterful work of art. You tell him he's great, you support him and comfort him. He should be listening to you, after all. So then, you go back to your place. 

He kisses you, and love ensues. Then, he gives you one goodbye peck and you don't hear from him for a week. Normal guys might send flowers or even a quick phone call. Not the narcissist. He has many things to do! And many people to see. And a great deal of priorities.

 "I feel like you don't take us seriously," you tell him. "I know. This is hard. Maybe we just have enough like we are now, though." Somehow it's not enough.

Even though that's the end of the discussion, you want more. You aren't being treated fairly. If he acts warm and happy around his friends, and is constantly having people surround him and praise him, he's probably a narcissist.

If he seems devoted to you in public, but in private he treats you like crap, he's very likely a narcissist. 

The harsh truth is that some people can't love. They pretend, and get the game down really well, and it's painful for the rest of us. They siphon our resources to fill up their own "love reserves" which run dry every day.

Now, most people will either work through a relationship or they won't. A narcissist would rather end the relationship than stick through it, even if it means hearing that he has bad things about himself, too. 

Good folks work towards the goal of understanding each other and building on compassion, mutual respect, and love. Well, a narcissist won't. He'll resort to name calling, dumping (and then desperately coming back to you), and all kinds of crazy mind games. 

 The narcissist is incapable of true love. The trick is figuring out if you're in a narcissistic relationship. And even if you are, what do you do about it? We don't get taught this stuff in school. No one shows us how to manage relationships responsibly, or identify potential psychopaths. 

 (Unfortunately, these psychopathic people do exist - certain people who simply aren't capable of "real love" as we're taught it to be.)

No one teaches us what to do when we ARE in a narcissistic relationship. Do we dump him? Are we in danger? What's the truth of the matter? 

I tell you here in this free report.